Vegeta's Lament
by The General of Darkness
Summary: Little by little, the cold truth sinks in more deeply. I could not accept it then. But now, as we fill in an empty grave, I am finding that I have no choice. He is dead, and I am more alone than ever. This is my lament, my last expression of humanity.


**A/N: I have listened to "Valentines Day" so many times it should be a crime.**

**I should be sleeping… **_**gives deranged look at own reflection **_**That, or studying for finals. But, when one has an urge to write a Veggie one-shot, one has to do so…especially since I've gotten away from writing about him. This has been the obsession of four or five days now, so I figured I'd better get it done before I go crazy...erm, crazier. It even evolved so far that I insisted that I make a piece of art for it, despite my lack of time…(or rather, lack of ability to use it correctly) So, either check it out here: **

**http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/5052/slamentcompletent4.jpg**

**Or, you can find it under "Art in General" on my homepage. The website addy above may be missing a colon and slash, yada yada…**

**Reviews are much appreciated. Hope the lyrics sound like they fit Veggie…I certainly thought they did.**

**Summary: **Little by little, as time ticks away, the cold truth sinks more deeply. I could not accept it then. But now, as we fill in an empty grave, I am finding that I have to. He is dead and I am agonizingly more alone than I ever thought. (A/U oneshot songfic, no "living" OCs, though)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Linkin Park's "Valentines Day" or Vegeta, Nappa, or Raditz, characters of Akira Toriyama's "Dragonball Z." **

**Onward!**

* * *

I watch with cold eyes as Nappa moves about quickly, feeling as though the breath has been stolen from my lungs. I can't watch this...I can't. This is not happening. 

_My insides all turn to ash, so slow  
__And blew away as I collapsed, so cold  
__A black wind took them away from sight  
__And held the darkness over day that night_

I used to believe that I was invincible. I used to believe that he was invincible as well. Sighing, I shift my weight, shuffling my boots around slightly. A whine dies down in my throat before it reaches the air, repressed by my subconscious as it screams at me to be strong. This cold planet is the closest Nappa says we can get to Garthia without Frieza getting too suspicious. I can't believe we're standing out here, pretending we're burying him, when two days ago I was pretending he'd come back to me.

I shudder against the forceful gale endeavoring to sweep the three of us away. The pale sun above is hiding from us as it sets behind the dark clouds, denying us even the smallest ray of light in this frigid, unwelcoming land. Nappa's voice is low and sorrowful, a tone I have only heard him use twice in my entire existence. My loyal bodyguard keeps stealing glances at me, looking at me as if I am going to shatter at any moment like glass. Against this wind, I just might. It carries a certain chill to it that I have never experienced, and its voice leaves a mourning wail in its wake.

_And the clouds above move closer  
__Looking so dissatisfied  
__But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing…_

My affirmations in life are becoming more uncertain with each hour that passes. Little by little, as time ticks away, the cold truth sinks in more deeply. I did not believe Nappa when he told me. Instead, I pitched a fit, raising my ki, screaming that he was lying to me, and that I wanted to see him. Needless to say, I did not get my wish, nor will I ever. Nappa knocked me out before I accidentally harmed myself, or pushed my power level too high for Frieza's liking. I could not accept it then. But now, as we fill in an empty grave, I am finding that I have to.

He is…he is…

I cannot bring myself to say it. Those three little words have plunged my world into chaotic darkness.

Swallowing, I notice a thick lump has begun to form in my throat, and my body begins to tremble violently. Raditz dares to place his hand gently on my shoulder. He's not much older than me, only two turns senior to my ten turns of existence, but he looks like a man now, face stern in mourning and respect. Though softer, Nappa's expression is similar.

Neither of them will mourn as I do, though. Their way of life will change only slightly, while my entire routine has been inverted and placed atop its head. Our plans for escape will have to be altered, but nothing compares to the hole that has been left within the core of my very soul. I didn't think anything could kill him, much the less a stupid pod crash.

Nappa seems to think I've been too quiet over the past two days, which is why we're out here in the first place. He tells me I'm "blocking things out" again, a technique that, in fact, _he _enforced upon me. Thinking that some sort of ceremony will get me to emote, or express grief, the bald-headed buffoon whisked Raditz and me away to this place. They expect me to cry, I know, like I did when they first told me, but I refuse to. _He _believed that it was better that we block out our emotions, so Frieza wouldn't be able to toy with them.

I acted in a similar way when my guardian told me that the Empire had fallen. I spoke no word, shed no tear, and swore vengeance against that fiend who has stolen away the last constant within my world. Nappa finishes covering the shallow grave completely at last. Shoulders drooping, I glance down at the bare patch of earth, trying to convince myself that this is where he lies. This is where we buried him.

"Prince…" Nappa murmurs quietly. "Would you like some time alone?"

If it will get you out of my hair, yes, you idiot… "Yes, Nappa." I mutter back in a lifeless tone. "I will find you and Raditz when I wish. Leave!" The harsh command is immediately carried away on the wind. Not thinking twice, my companions take to the air, the effect of my tone no doubt still thundering in their ears.

I shake my head slowly as they disappear beyond the horizon. With heavy strides, I walk over to the "grave," staring at it with frigid eyes. Nappa does not understand. He has only made matters worse. This does not soothe my grief, or coax it from its locked chambers. No! This is infuriating! This is no type of burial for _him. _Hell, by our customs, he would not even be buried…he would be cremated!

Fiercely, I brush away the building tears. He would be cremated damn it, as a king should be! He was the embodiment the word "king," just as I am the epitome of a prince's very essence. We were strong…strong together. Knowing he was around was a reminder that the saiyan race was still great…that no matter what Frieza did to me, I was still strong, possibly one of the strongest warriors in the world. Nothing would stop me, once I reached the height of my power. With him at my side, I would become the unconquerable super saiyan that I was destined to be.

_I used to be my own protection, but not now  
_'_Cause my path has lost direction somehow  
__A black wind took you away from sight  
__And held the darkness over day that night_

How in the world am I to accomplish my goal now? It seemed like I could take anyone on around the base, just so long as I knew he was around. That doesn't necessarily mean he fought my battles for me…it was just…knowing he was there if things got lethal. It's only been two days, and the older soldiers have already started on me, eager to make up for time lost when we were just recruits, wide-eyed children who barely knew what was going on, and just wanted to go back home.

Hell, I am no child now. I could be a child with him alive…but now, it would seem, the gods are forcing me to grow up even further. You never truly realize how much you need someone until they have vanished entirely. Furious with myself, I struggle to rub away the cold tears coursing down my cheeks. Princes do not cry…princes do not cry.

But, why shouldn't I cry? My knees begin to tremble as I curse quietly under my breath. I swore not to do this. I swore not to grieve, even though I know I need to. Hell, Nappa and Raditz have even provided me with the means to do so with solitude, a place away from Frieza and everyone else's prying eyes, including their own. Unable to take the weight of the sorrow forcibly pressing itself upon my shoulders, I collapse to my knees, burying my face in my hands.

"He's not here. He's not buried. Nothing will bring me god damn closure until I see his body laid about before me! He WILL return…Frieza is LYING! You're all lying!"

I'm barely aware that I've screamed those words aloud, my voice strained with misery. Somebody bring him back to me…please, anyone, just someone reassure me that this is all some damn nightmare, and I'll wake up in the palace in the morning…

"ROUX!" I scream at the soft, gray heavens. "ROUX! ANNIKI, ANNIKI!!"

I don't really care if Nappa and Raditz can hear me now. My plea echoes across the skies, forever unanswered. I had half-expected him to reply, "Oh ayoki…I'm right here…" just as he always did.

Yes, he would tell me that, gather me up, and then go help me dress whatever wounds Frieza had stricken my body with. I ache again once more, though not from any physical wound. Reality is becoming colder, and the truth, as insistent as ever, digs further into my mind.

_And the clouds above move closer  
__Looking so dissatisfied  
__And the ground below grew colder  
__As we put you down inside  
__But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing…_

"Roux…" I whimpered in a weary tone, "Anniki….you're…you're gone, aren't you?"

For what I will make sure is the last time, I close my eyes and allow my last happy memory of him to flit through my mind. He's leaning against the wall, jagged bangs hanging over his eyes as they always did, blond hair disheveled from training. Smirking at me, he chuckles slightly.

"_You will make a great warrior someday, Vegeta. I'm proud of you, my ayoki." _He had said that only a week ago, but now, it seemed as if the words are eons away from me, just as Roux is dimensions away.

Lifting my gaze to the now visible sun, I stand, no longer bothering to wipe the tears from my face. There is no point in denying the truth and hiding in lies, nor any point in pretending this has not deeply scarred my life.

I am the last living member of the royal house. My brother is dead, and nothing, not even vengeance can bring him back.

_So now you're gone,  
__And I was wrong  
I never knew what it was like  
__To be alone…_

As a testament to my regal sibling's legacy, I will never again allow myself another moment of weakness. I will bury my grief with his spirit and memory.

But perhaps I need not bury him entirely…no; I cannot, and will not ever do that. I will memorize that smirk of his, and mirror it. My obsidian eyes will gleam with the same sheen that his perpetually closed orbs once did in delight. His laugh will become my own, and his goal my lifelong aspiration.

I will become the most powerful being in the universe, and avenge our people by blowing that tyrant to kingdom come. Prince Vegeta will not be dominated by grief or bondage! No emotion will rule my heart...only strength!

Slowly, I turn my eyes to the patch of raw earth beside me, heaving one last sigh as the wind died down and gave my scarlet cape one last nudge. The dark hues of a brilliant orange, crimson, and purple sunset paint the skies as the sun finally peeks out from behind the clouds. In spite of my tears, I smile.

I kneel down gingerly, letting my fingertips brush the dirt. Soiling the white glove, I slowly trace his name out in the dirt, carving "Roux Athron Relin, 785 A.E – 797 A.E." The wind will blow it away soon, but the act leaves an imprint of peace upon my mind.

Rest in peace, my dear brother, Pr-……no…King Roux. You will be missed, but not forgotten. I will avenge you, and I will become the invincible warrior I believed you were.

* * *

**A/N: ….ten-year old Vegeta is very mature, no? **_**dies**_** I got about halfway through this before I realized… "Whoa..holy crap, he's only supposed to be like, ten years old in this part of the story…oh well, too late now!" **

**You gotta love 'im though... **_**huggles the chibi **_**So intelligent…so mature…Really Veggie, I'm sorry I make your life hell…**

**Chibi Vegeta: ……get the hell offa me… **_**wanders off to find Roux, who, as most sane people are at this hour, is sleeping **_

**For those of you wondering, "anniki" is one of the terms for older brother in Japanese…thusly adopted for my saiyan language. Ayoki is just a nonsense word for younger brother… And yes, I know I left out the twenty-million "On a Valentine's Day..." at the end of the song. Really, I didn't think it would make all that much sense if I left it in there... _rolls eyes _Odd, this was supposed to be a "Veggie suicidal" fic, since Roux and Boldy lean toward that way...but...for whatever reason...it didn't happen. _shrugs _Oh well.**

**Thanks for reading, and PLEASE review! Or..or… _looks around and grabs_ Vegeta ****I'll make 'im cry again! ;-)**

**Chibi Vegeta: … O.o Please, let's not do that…_looks at the readers, terrified_**


End file.
